I Was Schooled in L’s – Part 2

I woke up laying across Francois’ chest. He still had the condom on.

I gently stirred his attention. “Hey, that was amazing. Thank you so much.”

“Mmmh. You are welcome, but I should be thanking you. Say, what time is it?”

I looked over at the clock on the wall. “It’s about 1:30 am.”

“1:30 am?” He repeated.

“Yup.”

“Until we meet again, my love. Can you show me to your bathroom?”

I pointed him in the right direction.

He stayed in the bathroom for about 10 minutes. I wasn’t one to judge, but the time frame was long. “Is everything okay?” I yelled.

He emerged from the bathroom smelling as potent as he did this morning. “Thank you for an amazing night. I really enjoyed myself,” as if he forgot I asked a question. “I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow, and I need to get some rest. I hope we can do this again.”

Francois kissed me goodbye, and left my apartment.


“Girl, let me tell you all about this amazing night I had!”

I told my girl Chanel all about how I met Francois at the Deli. How he lent me his sweatshirt. How he picked me up in his car. How he slid into my pants. How great he smelled. How wonderful the night was.

What she had to tell me after that, I know I wasn’t ready to hear.

Francois had a beautiful wife, and a set of twins – boy and girl.

“They’re real cute,” she added, as if she thought the twins were adorable enough to make me forget the disappointing news she delivered.

“So let me get this straight – he’s married?”

“With twins, girl.”

What I did not share with Chanel was how this explained Francois’ strange  behavior was at the end of the night.  Now I know why he hurried to leave.


Let’s call this period the beginning of my disillusionment.

I mean, Hov did tell the young me to, “Have an affair; Act like an adult for once,” and how could I miss my opportunity? He was the right amount of unavailable that I needed in a state of emotional unavailability.

But, what would make a man cheat on his wife with two whole babies at home?


I sat outside the deli Monday morning and waited for Francois. I spotted him down the block, sporting the hoodie he loaned me days before.

“Hey,” I called from the bench.

“Hey, Jamila. You look wonderful today,” he replied.

I wasn’t here for the nice talk. I wanted to get down to business.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were married with twins?” I forced my hands into my pockets to hide the fists I’d been forming. If anything, he lied to me. He didn’t tell me straight up what his circumstances were so that I could make an informed decision.

After a long dry spell, Francois awakened me, and I wasn’t ready to let go of feeling – feeling alive again.

I waited forever for an answer. Francois sat across from me, staring into my eyes, as if trying to find the perfect lie he could craft that would make me believe him. My eyes rendered pain and frustration. He dropped his head to stare at his twiddling thumbs.

“Look, Jamila. I think you’re wonderful. It slipped my mind to tell you.”

This man must have thought my name was Stupid, or Born Yesterday.

“I think I could accept that response if I already didn’t know it was a damn lie,” I said. I was getting hot thinking about how I was conned, and yet, ready to continue this illicit affair. “Why couldn’t you just be honest from jump?” I pressed again.

“I already gave you my answer. It slipped my mind. How was I supposed to say, Hey! I want to fuck you, but I’m married with a wife and kids?”

“That’s a serious question?”

“So, what are you saying? Do you want this to be over?”

The Final Part – April 28th

Published by Jam

I'm on a journey towards a better understanding of self through written reflections on my romantic relationships, situationships, entanglements, and complicated friendships.

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